Here, there, and back again

Kind of reminds you of Bilbo Baggins, doesn't it? Like Bilbo who left the Shire for an adventure but eventually went back to tell his tale, I, too, briefly left librarianship to become someone else.

On my 11th year of being a librarian, 8 years of which I spent at Manila Bulletin, I sort of grew tired of reading all the company's publications and indexing some of them (some did not have any research value). My spirit grew restless and longed for a change in environs. So when a window of opportunity opened, I took it.

It was a teaching post at a big, private university in Manila and I was to teach English. I knew this was a far cry from what I did since I started working but my undergraduate certificate in English qualified me to teach the subject. I taught Grammar, Technical Writing, Oral Communication, and Composition, which if asked to teach now I'd gladly accept.

No one among my fellow faculty members knew I was a librarian save for my circle of friends. But it was in that same faculty room that I heard a most demeaning remark aimed at the university's librarians. It was CBA season then and the non-teaching staff got a fair deal from the administration after a threat of a strike. The faculty faired better. But during one of the discussion sessions in the faculty room, there was this faculty member who criticized the amount of salary increase the librarians would be getting. I will never forget what he said: "Bakit P20,000.00 ang starting nila, e wala namang ginagawa yang mga p****** inang mga librarian yan!"

I knew he was not referring to me, he who used to be a department chairman, but I was deeply hurt nevertheless. However, I must admit I didn't as much as lift a finger to defend the poor librarians because I was on alien territory and they didn't particularly like me and earning their ire would have been counterproductive. The older ones were wary of me, watching my every move.

I now recall a post I made during the height of the '105 useless' discussion over at the PLAI e-group on salvaging the image of the librarian and why it meant everything to me. This was were I was coming from.

Much as I enjoyed my teaching stint and with students enjoying my subjects in return, it didn't take away the librarian in me. There was a point when I was reading editorials to be used for grammar exercises when I realized that I wasn't taking pleasure in reading anymore. I wanted to read for information and not to look for grammatical errors in the written word. I reached a saturation point when I suffered a two-week migraine attack from reading error-laden book reports.

I may have left the library, but the librarian in me didn't leave. And so at the end of the school year, even before my supervisor told me she didn't want me anymore despite a satisfactory student evaluation, I was bent on going back to the library; back ino the arms of the books and periodicals I have grown to love.

Every year I still get invited to go back and teach at the same university and every year I turn down the offer. I cannot stand the chaos, the hypocrisy, the jealousy, and the envy in the halls of the academe, which is supposedly run by learned individuals, by professionals. I prefer the peace and quiet of the library in the company of the masters, not to mention the unseen souls who always make their presence felt.

"Can the blind lead the blind? Will they not both fall into the ditch?" (Lk 6:39)